MC Hawking, yoooooo

yo wt up n00bs, i ben listning to ths guy liek al day. I prefer F_uck teh creationists, but there's no vid lol... check out teh lyrics:

Fuck The Creationists

Ah yeah, here we go again!
Damn! This is some funky shit that I be laying down on your ass.
This one goes out to all my homey's working in the field of
evolutionary science.
Check it!

Fuck the damn creationists, those bunch of dumb-ass bitches,
every time I think of them my trigger finger itches.
They want to have their bullshit, taught in public class,
Stephen J. Gould should put his foot right up their ass.
Noah and his ark, Adam and his Eve,
straight up fairy stories even children don't believe.
I'm not saying there's no god, that's not for me to say,
all I'm saying is the Earth was not made in a day.

Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck the Creationists.

Fuck the damn creationists I say it with authority,
because kicking their punk asses be me paramount priority.
Them wack-ass bitches say, "evolution's just a theory",
they best step off, them brainless fools, I'll give them cause to fear me.
The cosmos is expanding every second, every day,
but their minds are shrinking as they close their eyes and pray.
They call their bullshit science like the word could give them cred,
if them bitches be scientists then cap me in the head.

Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck the Creationists.

Bass!
Bring that shit in!
Ah yeah, that's right, fuck them all motherfuckers.
Fucking punk ass creationists trying to set scientific thought back 400 years.
Fuck that!
If them superstitious motherfuckers want to have that kind of party,
I'm going to put my dick in the mashed potatoes.
Fucking creationists.
Fuck them.

ktxby

-A

CANDY MOUNTAIN!

Someone in the UnicrnLvrs chat room today told me about this clip on YouTube and how they thought it was really funny so I just had to check it out!


I think that this Charlie Fellow is a bit of a Party Pooper!
The other unicorns just want to go on a magical journey to Candy Mountain and he's so grumpy about it!
Plus he is obviously a liar because unicorns do not steal kidneys! I bet it was the crazy singing y! Though what he needs a Kidney for I have no idea!

We're on a Bridge Charlie!!!!!!!

hehehehe


Stay Magical!!

Fate of Inflated Egos

Dear McNasty,
I expect nothing more from a Teddy Bear than your close-minded response. You're mind is so closed it's been sewn shut! Careful you don't rip the seams with how bloated with stuffing your head seems to be. If it gets too big you'll pop your stuffing and be thrown to the mercy of the dogs. For that is the fate of forgotten and ugly stuffed toys that have gloried for just a little to long. Enjoy you're sad and sheltered Teddy Bear life, I am moving into a brighter tomorrow with or without you.







I really hate being mean.






The petition is circling. We have 10 signatures so far... all Barbies which will mean nothing, two are me and Jessica, and the other 8 may or may not have thought they were signing up for a raffle... but none the less, it is a start. We will seduce the non-Barbie toys into signing with our cupcake stand tomorrow. Wish us luck!

experience and adventure

There are only two ways in which we can account for a necessary agreement of experience with the concepts of its objects: either experience makes these concepts possible or these concepts make experience possible.

--Immanuel Kant

Critique of Pure Reason

Hey folks,

It's not an uncommon experience for many of us: the nervous grasping of small hands, the motion and upset and soft, floating light muted by smoky clouds. The smell of the dog huddled behind in the way-back seat. Yes, today I went out.

No matter how many times I venture along the noisy streets of the world, I always find myself struck first and foremost by the broad accessibility of its lanes, alleyways, buildings and lawns. As the door opens, so to does the world, and we find ourselves lost for a moment in the sweet, confused agony of pure freedom.

We move through the world in the perfect shelter of the musty car, and arrive at last before the gates of the Library's great marble halls. Another doorway, and another opening into a world no less expansive, not merely in spatial dimension but even into the realms of mind and imagination, where time, space, life itself unfolds into infinitude.

We spent a lot of time in the picture book section. There was a book about a dinosaur that learned how to share.

Now that I rest secure again in my old haunts, I wonder how my world has changed from this experience; how my life changes with every sally beyond the realm of security. I feel comfortable saying that is upon experiences like this that my life has been built, a punctuated equilibrium of sensation and ideas. We can hardly hope to see over the horizon, but as at dawn we see the light of the sun before its rising, so we can look forward to the quiet revelations of future experiences and wonders.

Next week there is to be a film strip. I'll give a full report.

In the meantime, thanks for reading!

-Robo

Logic

To the Barbie who's little plastic head is full of air and nothing else:

Barbies OBVIOUSLY will never be equal to stuffed toys, ESPECIALLY Teddy Bears as we reign superior where ever we are. You may think you deserve a voice, but all you are for is to put fancy little dresses on that match your fancy little plastic shoes. You are made to act out the fantasy of whomever's hands you fall into, and you will never be equal. Stuffed Toys were given the power because we know so much more about the world. We are entrusted with information that Barbies can't even fathom. Enjoy you're fantasy world, and leave important things to your superiors.

That is all.

Campaign Plans

So today Jessica and I had lunch at The Dream House - Ken was there, such a poser! - and we started talking about our campaign plans. Jessica is the only Barbie in the playroom that seemed to hear me when I cried out against our inequality. Finally someone else who sees why we Barbies should have a voice in Playroom meetings! Just think, some day, if we work hard enough, a Barbie could even be President of the playroom! There will come the day when the stuffed toys will not reign supreme, and we can be equals!
I told that to Jessica and she said I should run for President, I said obviously!
So Jess and I are thinking about getting some cupcakes from the Easy-Bake-Oven for our next rally. Anyone will listen to you if you're giving out cupcakes! We are going to start a petition for President Fluffy-Muffin that will hopefully give Barbies the right to vote, and from there we can work towards our much bigger plans. Hopefully he wont be a bear about it...

Ugh! While we were at The Dream House, Ken of course tried to hit on us. Why doesn't he ever take No for an answer? Not like he has anything to offer! I mean everyone knows that underneath his clothes there ain't nothin' much there... haha!

Jimmy drove by today and honked at me...
*sigh*

Hi!!!

Hi I'm Peaches! I'm a My Little Pony Unicorn and I'm Proud!
I'm interested in traveling the world and taking pictures!
I like to learn all about the other unicorns in the world and keep myself connected through the world-wide web!

I see that some of you toys have already gotten started on your blogging. How Fun!
Looks like we have some funny characters here! I think McNasty has a case of the Mondays! hehehehe

Anyway, I look forward to sharing my adventures with you, and I can't wait to read more!

Keep it Magical!

So here I am...

So what exactly am I supposed to be doing in this thing? Sharing my feelings? My thoughts? My life-altering ideas? Sure, ok...

Really I have no idea why I decided to do this thing. I don't have feelings... Maybe it had to do with RoboRoboTron bribing me with promises of being able to share my opinions. I have a lot of opinions that I have no problem sharing. Like: RoboRoboTron? Who's the underdeveloped brainless child that came up with that name?

So I guess I'll ease myself into this whole process and start off with a simple who the hell am I? Well I'm a ratty old stuffed bear who's been shoved into the crack between the bed and the wall one too many times. The child, who is my arch nemesis, does nothing but cry all the time and drag me around like some stupid doll who can't lay down without closing her eyes and dozing off. Fucking narcoleptic idiots. Either way, I see the world, and I know what lies beyond the front door, and I have no problem sharing my opinion on the 'real world' that you other more sheltered toys live oblivious too.

That is all for now.

Sup n00bs

So i gues this site is ok n stuf, so i prty much don get messd up by anyone n carnivores r total n00bs lol :/

so ysterday i wuz out in teh sandbox and liek 3 plains floo ovr and it wuz toly roXXorz i wanna fly a jet plane n blow up all teh punks whood try to mess w/ me lol evn tho i totaly dont need it rofl...

n liek anothr story happend 2 days ago tehre was like this dog n he wuz tryin 2 get in teh yard and i was liek lol dude gg hf... he was liek al black n wite n had these big eers n kept jumpin n jumpin but teh fence wuz 2 big n this guy cam out n hit im w/ this newspaper (more like n00bspaper lol) n dragged him away, i gess teh dog wuz just a punk noob... wevr...

kk gotta go thxby

-A

Life in Plastic: Not so Fantastic...

This blog is such a great idea. Now I finally have a way to get my voice out there! It is so hard out there trying to get yourself heard.

For example: Today I was trying to lead a rally on giving Barbies a right to vote at the playroom meetings, and nobody would listen to me. The stuffed toys were of course stuck on themselves, chatting about their immense importance to the playroom hierarchy and basically shooed me away. The dolls wouldn't stop crying for no reason, I dunno, what are they hungry? Need to be changed? Either way they were creating so much ruckus that none off the other Barbies could here me over the Aqua blaring through their headphones.

It was a failure.

Of course the Hot Wheels just Cat-Called at me. Whatever. They can go blow themselves.

Although Jimmy is pretty hot...

*Sigh*

Anyway...
The hardships I faced today will not disgourage me from continuing to fight for equal rights to all Barbies in the playroom! We are not all 'Barbie Girls' and we have voices that count and need to be heard!

Welcome

I'm very excited to kick off the first ever entry into Toys of Fury! We're six folks from very different walks of life, coming together to share our experiences, our hopes, and our vision of the wide world.

I'll let folks introduce themselves. For myself, I'm just a guy from the suburbs looking to put back something into the creative world-- I'm interested in literature and philosophy, so keep an eye out!

More great stuff to come, so keep checking!

-Robo